I just sooo confused by this guy like he has two different personalities he is one person with he's friends then other person when he is with me (the nice and chill guy that I like) I don't like the person he is when he is with his friends cos he just wants to act so stubborn and pre tend that I don't exist and I just really upset by it all becuz, the thing is I thought he could be like a really good close friend I could have,and be able to talk to him whenever I wanted but today just made me see his true colours like he is just not a nice person, and the funny thing is his friend is doing the same exact thing to my friend A, like why are they playing games, like it not funni it's just kinda mean and makes me think he is not the person I thought he was. Like I wanna go back to the times when we use to chat all the time and he would call me, like I dunno what has changed, and it's weird becuz we where just hanging out with them the other weekend and it was so much fun, like I hooked up (no sex of course) with orange juice and it was really nice like I dunno I thought we were on the right track after all that nonsense he was doing before around Christmas, but now he has fallen back to his old ways and being so childish. Like it not like I'm even like being clingy or anything like it's always him making the moves on me, it's always him making the first move I have never once tried to initiate it, and I no he is attracted to me, cos he admitted that he had a crush on me (after he said he didn't when we were playing truth or days) I knew he was lyin when he said he didn't have a crush on anybody in uni, becuz one he hesitates do when he said it and also how can you hook up with someone that many times and always be harassing me on the phone and not have any feels towards that person, so when I ask him to why he never said he like me, when we where alone, he admitted that he did. (baring in mind that this was I front of everyone when he said he didn't have a crush, so I knew he was going to say no cos he always has a front)
This is what I don't understand like you say you like me then why you trying to hide it when ur with people like as if he's a ashamed or sumthing m, which is not cool, like I dunno what he is tryna hide cos his close friend (the one doing the same nonsense to A) knows we've been hooking up so I don't get why he's tryna hide his feeling. He's just so confusing to read sooo I'm just done with it all like I exhausted by his games and wished he just acted like a normal human being , I really wanna tell him how I'm feeling right now but he probs just laugh at me and think I'm stupid cos that's the sort of person he is, I'm just annoyed aswell becuz in the beginning of all this I didn't even find him attractive like he's good looking but I didn't see him in that way then I started to get to know him and then we kissed and that just when I started getting feelings and I'm just annoyed at him for making get feelings for him and just mess me about, there is a little bit of me that wants him to message me or sumthin so I can tell him how I feel, but I don't think that's gonna happen. Soooo at this present time I think Im done with him, like I'm not over him that will take some time. But I'm done with trying to have some type of friendship or whatever that was going on cos he just too stubborn and I don't have time for it anymore, I'm deleting him for my life and never talking to him again (maybe just for the time being) until he decides he wants to be nice to me again
Other point to add is he is singling me out like he would watch my friends snapchats but he won't watch mine, which is basically the same things that he's doing when he says hi to my friends when I'm not there. I just don't understand this game he is playing, it's not fun like he needs to stop cos it's not funny anymore at first it was fun cos we would've not talk for some time (like we would both play hard to get) but when we see each other you could just feel the connection between us and it would be just amazing when we kiss and stuff but now it's just not fun anymore like I just wanna be his friend and he's just being so weird towards me, like I kinda wanted the relationship chuck and Blair had in gossip girl how they would both try and make each other jealous but still have that crazy connection between the two I thought we where leading to that kind of relationship but he's kinda taking it too far to the extent that he won't even acknowledge me when he is with his friends and not in a party kind of environment, I just don't get his motive.
I think I'm done venting, I'm going to go back to my work now.
So today (the next day that is) one has decide code to have an emotional break down today, about this sill nonsense boy it crazy I never though I'd be the type of person to cry over a boy m, I'm usually the one telling my friends like there's no point wasting your tears on boys, and there's be doing it, I just felt like I just needed to just cry it out sooo that now I can move on. Actually the main reason why I started crying was becuz my friend A had decided to send me a song by Rihanna- fading , which literally spoke to me, like he lyrics of the song was literally how I am feeling, like he's fading from my life and I'm kind of upset about it cos we had some good times (I secretly hope that he comes back and stop being stubborn)
The song is just sooo emotional like I'm suprised I haven't even heard it before, that's is one of my favourite songs from Rihanna now, and I only just heard it today the song came out ages ago like a couple of years ago. But Yhhh it was hat song that just did it for me I just started crying becuz it reminded me of him.
I defo need that emotional sesh so that now I can be a boss ass bitch and make him jealous and be fleeky so that he will regret being rude to me!!
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