So this week i have a whole week off from work which at the start of the week I thought "yay a much needed time off work" I was proper excited, but now, i can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually kind of missing work. This whole week I have literally done nothing just watching a whole load of trashy tv and funny youtube videos and i feel like each day is just a repeat of the day before, just like that vampires diaries episode where Damon and Bonnie just keep repeating the same day over and over again. I'm actually seeing myself count the days until I can go back to work which is kind of sad. Im just really bored, i feel like I should have gone to visit my friend up in uni becuz she said I should when i get time off work, but I seriously could not be bothered to trek down all the way there, I'm such a sloth. Im defo going to go see her the next time though, i have a week off work in Jan or feb. On the plus side i get paid on friday literally just in time for all the Black friday sales and Cyber Monday sales. Even though here, we don't celebrate Thanksgiving it's great that other countries are still able to take advantage of all the sales.
But I really should be saving up for uni but literally internet shopping is the devil, it's so tempting when online shops like Asos and missguided send you countless emails on sales they have and "free shipping for one day only". I'm actually addicted to internet shopping, i use to be so much better with my money, but im telling you, when the new year comes I'm going to be so budget it my money and not spend anything at all and save all the money I get for uni, I think I'm still gonna try and work at a supermarket (hopefully get transferred to another supermarket nearer to my uni) while im at uni just to make sure im financially stable and avoid the risk of going into my overdraft, because that defo cannot happen. But a good way of earning money, I found is to sell old clothes that your not wearing anymore on ebay, but the annoying thing about ebay is that at the end of each mouth the money you did make that mouth ebay takes a cut of the money which is so annoying but besides from that its a good way to get a few extra pounds in your pocket, maybe I'll make a business out of it, you never know.
Its kind of annoying how money is one of the main concerns is most of our our lives, my mum is trying to save up money for doing up the loft but their always something that pops up that she has to pay for, reducing the chances for her to save, I want get to a stage in my life where my mum doesn't have to worry about paying the mortgage and bills and I can treat her to amazing hoidays and gifts where she doesn't have to worry about paying for it all, that's one of the goals I hope to achieve, seeing as i have written up on here i now have to make sure i do it.
When I go to uni next year I think,well I hope im going to manage my money well, im gonna be such a cheapskate and only spend money on the essentials and plus im not really one for drinking alcohol so I know i won't be spending money on that, even though my friends keep telling me,that literally the first week of freshers all ur money will be going into alcohol and nights-out, but im going to make sure it doesn't.
Starting from January I'm defo not spending a dime, I know with Christmas coming up, I'm 100% sure I going to be broke by the end of the month but that's expected, I can't even believe it's the Christmas season already this year has gone by so fast!
Anyway, going to end it here with a little reminder that I need to stop spending money and SAVE SAVE SAVE!!
-A
Tuesday 2 December 2014
Saturday 22 November 2014
The Guy in the Red Checkered Scarf
So I'm currently in my gap year working in a supermarket to save up some dollar for uni next year, well I say that and theirs me spending most of my money i earn on clothes and shoes when I shouldn't be, its just so tempting when you have all these online sales and offers constantly popping up, and I know its gonna get worst during the christmas period with all the half price sales and crazy discounts during boxing day sales, but anyway lets not dwell on the fact I have now become an undercover shopaholic and need to get some kind of counselling for my spending habits.
But anyway let me get on with the story, so theirs this guy that literally comes into the store at least 5 times a week, and seeing that I basically live at work I tend to see him all the time, most of the time he comes a few hours before closing time, and yes I do the night-shift becuz I am not a morning person!! He usually buys the same thing at least 2 bottles of beer, sometimes some cigarette papers and avocados , i know, random, and also American Spirit tobacco, when it in stock, that is (usually it isn't). And he tends to come in after finishing work always wearing a long white and red checked scarf hanging across his neck. It was actually my collegue K (not going to right her full name, who happens to be one of the funniest people I have ever met in my life, and seriously going to miss her when I leave for uni becuz we literally have so much fun when we have shifts together, cracking up jokes) who decided to call him red scarf becuz it literally never leaves his neck lol. She also has her own red scarf guy who also goes by another coloured object "blue tie" that she likes, we call him blue tie becuz we only ever see him in a suit and a distinctive blue tie, I know we are so inventive.
But anyway back to red scarf, their is something about him that is really attractive, I dunno its so weird becuz at first, when he use to come in to the store I never really saw him in that way I just saw him as just another regular customer buying is daily essentials (and his essentials is really wierd), but just recently in the last few weeks I literally have a heart attack when ever he comes in, its crazy, literally their was one time I thought I was having some kind of hot flash or something becuz when he reached the checkout, and I just happened to serve him, I was literally sweating like a pig and my hands where trembling like a fish out of water (I hope he didn't notice). I never really thought I would ever feel this kind of way about a guy, and especially a guy who is probs at least 10 years my senior. Sometimes I wished he didn't come in just to avoid any sudden heart attacks that I may endure if I'm in the same room as him.
I wonder if he feels the same about me becuz sometimes I feel he does like me in that way, and then other days I'm like "what the f*** he didn't even say bye to me". He always does this thing where he would look at me straight in the eye and makes you feel like your the only girl in the room and maybe that's why I have developed feeling for him which so annoying becuz at first I didn't even fancy him!!! I really wish I could go back to that time where he was just another regular customer but now I see him in a totally different way. So yes I have a massive crush on somebody who I don't even know the name of. And I know nothing is going to happen between us becuz he is so much older than me and going by today he may even have a girlfriend, but the thing is, I dunno if he is flirting with me or just being nice but I feel that he reacts differently with me compared to the other female collegues at my store which makeS everything so much more confusing becuz that when I think he may like me in that way, or maybe he knows I have a crush on him and is just trying to string me along i dunno im soo confused!!!
But then everything went downhill today, becuz he decided to bring a girl with him into the store which was a first for him becuz most of the time he comes by himself . She definitely looked way older that me and I do have to admit she was pretty aswell not drop dead, but pretty in an innocent kind of way and she is probs more better suited with him than me, but trying to be optimistic, maybe it could have been his sister or long lost cousin he happen to find on the street,but theirs still some doubt that it could be a girl he is dating or his official girlfriend. But yet he still has this way about him that even with him having a potential girlfriend I still can't stop thinking about him WHICH IS SO ANNOYING!! And one thing that is soo annoying yet sooo cute!!!! is he would would always say oh "Thankyou *insert my name* in such a cool and seductive way when all I flipping did is just scan a few items and put them in a bag!! and he will look at me again straight in the eye (and this still even happened today when he had some girl tag along with him today) when saying so, but yet again he doesn't do that to any other colleague which is soo annoying and so confusing becuz for one I haven't even been working in the store for long so really it only makes sense for him to have a more stronger relationship with the other colleagues than me, right?!?, so this is the reason why sometimes I feel there is something more between us than just a friendly customer and shop assistant relationship. And I am the only one who tends to replay situations you have with your crush over and over again in your head, becuz i see myself doing that all the time.
So i offically know how it feels to have a maoosive crush on a guy, that you know you will never ever ever be with. I really hope I will find somebody in uni that will take my mind off this ridiculous crush I have on this guy,
So seeing as he may have a girlfriend now, I am totally going to play it cool and give him no clues at all that i fancy him, I am going to play what they call is "playing hard to get" and lets see if he wants me now loool, he probs won't lol. But seeing as I have a week off work lets just see if he will miss me when i not there and see what he says when i get back.
So to end it here with a little side note, Having massive crushs on people can seriously be so draining and annoying yet it still gives you come kind of hope that in some lifetime or another I will have the chance to get with him well until I find myself another guy to crush on, I'm sure their will be plenty of those ahead of me but ill get back to you when that actually happens.
-A
But anyway let me get on with the story, so theirs this guy that literally comes into the store at least 5 times a week, and seeing that I basically live at work I tend to see him all the time, most of the time he comes a few hours before closing time, and yes I do the night-shift becuz I am not a morning person!! He usually buys the same thing at least 2 bottles of beer, sometimes some cigarette papers and avocados , i know, random, and also American Spirit tobacco, when it in stock, that is (usually it isn't). And he tends to come in after finishing work always wearing a long white and red checked scarf hanging across his neck. It was actually my collegue K (not going to right her full name, who happens to be one of the funniest people I have ever met in my life, and seriously going to miss her when I leave for uni becuz we literally have so much fun when we have shifts together, cracking up jokes) who decided to call him red scarf becuz it literally never leaves his neck lol. She also has her own red scarf guy who also goes by another coloured object "blue tie" that she likes, we call him blue tie becuz we only ever see him in a suit and a distinctive blue tie, I know we are so inventive.
But anyway back to red scarf, their is something about him that is really attractive, I dunno its so weird becuz at first, when he use to come in to the store I never really saw him in that way I just saw him as just another regular customer buying is daily essentials (and his essentials is really wierd), but just recently in the last few weeks I literally have a heart attack when ever he comes in, its crazy, literally their was one time I thought I was having some kind of hot flash or something becuz when he reached the checkout, and I just happened to serve him, I was literally sweating like a pig and my hands where trembling like a fish out of water (I hope he didn't notice). I never really thought I would ever feel this kind of way about a guy, and especially a guy who is probs at least 10 years my senior. Sometimes I wished he didn't come in just to avoid any sudden heart attacks that I may endure if I'm in the same room as him.
I wonder if he feels the same about me becuz sometimes I feel he does like me in that way, and then other days I'm like "what the f*** he didn't even say bye to me". He always does this thing where he would look at me straight in the eye and makes you feel like your the only girl in the room and maybe that's why I have developed feeling for him which so annoying becuz at first I didn't even fancy him!!! I really wish I could go back to that time where he was just another regular customer but now I see him in a totally different way. So yes I have a massive crush on somebody who I don't even know the name of. And I know nothing is going to happen between us becuz he is so much older than me and going by today he may even have a girlfriend, but the thing is, I dunno if he is flirting with me or just being nice but I feel that he reacts differently with me compared to the other female collegues at my store which makeS everything so much more confusing becuz that when I think he may like me in that way, or maybe he knows I have a crush on him and is just trying to string me along i dunno im soo confused!!!
But then everything went downhill today, becuz he decided to bring a girl with him into the store which was a first for him becuz most of the time he comes by himself . She definitely looked way older that me and I do have to admit she was pretty aswell not drop dead, but pretty in an innocent kind of way and she is probs more better suited with him than me, but trying to be optimistic, maybe it could have been his sister or long lost cousin he happen to find on the street,but theirs still some doubt that it could be a girl he is dating or his official girlfriend. But yet he still has this way about him that even with him having a potential girlfriend I still can't stop thinking about him WHICH IS SO ANNOYING!! And one thing that is soo annoying yet sooo cute!!!! is he would would always say oh "Thankyou *insert my name* in such a cool and seductive way when all I flipping did is just scan a few items and put them in a bag!! and he will look at me again straight in the eye (and this still even happened today when he had some girl tag along with him today) when saying so, but yet again he doesn't do that to any other colleague which is soo annoying and so confusing becuz for one I haven't even been working in the store for long so really it only makes sense for him to have a more stronger relationship with the other colleagues than me, right?!?, so this is the reason why sometimes I feel there is something more between us than just a friendly customer and shop assistant relationship. And I am the only one who tends to replay situations you have with your crush over and over again in your head, becuz i see myself doing that all the time.
So i offically know how it feels to have a maoosive crush on a guy, that you know you will never ever ever be with. I really hope I will find somebody in uni that will take my mind off this ridiculous crush I have on this guy,
So seeing as he may have a girlfriend now, I am totally going to play it cool and give him no clues at all that i fancy him, I am going to play what they call is "playing hard to get" and lets see if he wants me now loool, he probs won't lol. But seeing as I have a week off work lets just see if he will miss me when i not there and see what he says when i get back.
So to end it here with a little side note, Having massive crushs on people can seriously be so draining and annoying yet it still gives you come kind of hope that in some lifetime or another I will have the chance to get with him well until I find myself another guy to crush on, I'm sure their will be plenty of those ahead of me but ill get back to you when that actually happens.
-A
Saturday 8 November 2014
Birthday Aftermath
So 1 day later my mum finally remembered after telling her she had forgotten my birthday, but I could see she was genuinely sorry that she had forgotten but she said that she already had a birthday card everything for me, but she just totally forgot when the day arrived. she had a lot of stuff on her mind and i completely get that, this year has kind of end on a bit of a low she's had alot of stuff to worry about for the last couple of months so for her to forget my birthday is completely understandable, I'm not really one to shout on top of the rooftops its my birthday. I got my birthday card and delicious chocolate birthday cake in the end so it did all work out in the end even though it was a bit of a belated birthday.
But all in all at least my belated birthday was better than my actual birthday. Lets just hope that they actually remember my birthday when it comes to my 20th, but the difference this time I won't be at home I'll be in uni, so I wonder if they will forget again, we'll just have to wait
-A
But all in all at least my belated birthday was better than my actual birthday. Lets just hope that they actually remember my birthday when it comes to my 20th, but the difference this time I won't be at home I'll be in uni, so I wonder if they will forget again, we'll just have to wait
-A
Friday 7 November 2014
Birthday Blues
Sooooo im not 18 anymore which is great *insert weeping emoji here*
Yep November 7 marks the 19th anniversary when a beautiful angelic angel graced the planet earth, naa I joke, but yeah, I officially turn 19 today.To be honest Im actually kinda of sad about it, turning 19 is just not the same as turning 18, being 19 I feel is just a constant reminder that this is your last year of being a teenager forever and its time to shape up and jump into the great big world of adulthood. Also saying your 18 definitely has a better ring to it than saying your 19.
In my heart I will forever be a child maybe im just not ready to leave my teenage years behind, hence maybe that's why I wasn't really ready to take the plunge of university life this year and taking up adult responsibilities.
For me birthdays is just other ordinary day,I tend to spend my birthdays with my family or in the case of this year, working an 8 hour shift on my birthday YAY *insert a thousand weeping emojis*
Im actually kind of annoyed!! How could my own mum forget it was my birthday today , still at 23:00 not one happy birthday, but she happily remembered the fact that I have to pay her my phone bill for this month, im really disappointed in her, i don't care about presents or gifts, to be honest im think Im kinda too old for that but not to even say one simple happy birthday to your own daughter is really annoying and kind of sad, My friends who are off in Uni who have other stuff on their mind but they still managed to send lovely birthday wishes. Even when i left for work their was no birthday wish at all!!! And it was not even that she herself had work today she had a day off so really she doesn't have an excuse, maybe i sound a bit like a stroppy teenager but it would have been nice to at least have a happy birthday from your own mum. I am definitely feeling the birthday blues!!!!
I think everyone has that bad birthday sometime in their life and I definitely think this one is mine!!
I don't really celebrate my birthday anyway compared to other people who got out and do the whole sherbang, for one I have never really had a birthday party, wait I probably have, when I was younger but just too young to remember, there're not really my thing, I can't deal with the stress of planning party, not knowing who to invite, stressing if everybody is having a good time, I feel if I did have a party I wouldn't have fun, at all!!!, I would just be stressing out the whole night, which is not the point of having a party, so that's really why I haven't really celebrated my birthday. Maybe next year when I finish my gap year and enter the world of university I'll probably celebrate then, but for now ill will be celebrating my birthday in the comfort of an 8 hour long ass shift YIPPEE but also treat myself with a slice of vanilla cake when I get back home.
Also am I the only one who hates that fact that Facebook has to go out of it's own way just to remind all your fb friends its your birthday, err no thank you Facebook, but some people actually like to keep the fact they are getting old to themselves, thank you. And actually it would be nice knowing who actually remembers your birthday without fb notifying them in the first place. But there is a plus side,as my birthday really is the only day when I get a whole load of notifications in one day lool I know I live a very boring life lol
But don't get me wrong I am totally blessed to have another great year of being healthy, having a loving family and friends around me who are always their for me in time of need, well sometimes lol
Well that's my birthday thoughts for this year, and may this 19th year grace me with great and exciting things to come.
-A
Yep November 7 marks the 19th anniversary when a beautiful angelic angel graced the planet earth, naa I joke, but yeah, I officially turn 19 today.To be honest Im actually kinda of sad about it, turning 19 is just not the same as turning 18, being 19 I feel is just a constant reminder that this is your last year of being a teenager forever and its time to shape up and jump into the great big world of adulthood. Also saying your 18 definitely has a better ring to it than saying your 19.
In my heart I will forever be a child maybe im just not ready to leave my teenage years behind, hence maybe that's why I wasn't really ready to take the plunge of university life this year and taking up adult responsibilities.
For me birthdays is just other ordinary day,I tend to spend my birthdays with my family or in the case of this year, working an 8 hour shift on my birthday YAY *insert a thousand weeping emojis*
Im actually kind of annoyed!! How could my own mum forget it was my birthday today , still at 23:00 not one happy birthday, but she happily remembered the fact that I have to pay her my phone bill for this month, im really disappointed in her, i don't care about presents or gifts, to be honest im think Im kinda too old for that but not to even say one simple happy birthday to your own daughter is really annoying and kind of sad, My friends who are off in Uni who have other stuff on their mind but they still managed to send lovely birthday wishes. Even when i left for work their was no birthday wish at all!!! And it was not even that she herself had work today she had a day off so really she doesn't have an excuse, maybe i sound a bit like a stroppy teenager but it would have been nice to at least have a happy birthday from your own mum. I am definitely feeling the birthday blues!!!!
I think everyone has that bad birthday sometime in their life and I definitely think this one is mine!!
I don't really celebrate my birthday anyway compared to other people who got out and do the whole sherbang, for one I have never really had a birthday party, wait I probably have, when I was younger but just too young to remember, there're not really my thing, I can't deal with the stress of planning party, not knowing who to invite, stressing if everybody is having a good time, I feel if I did have a party I wouldn't have fun, at all!!!, I would just be stressing out the whole night, which is not the point of having a party, so that's really why I haven't really celebrated my birthday. Maybe next year when I finish my gap year and enter the world of university I'll probably celebrate then, but for now ill will be celebrating my birthday in the comfort of an 8 hour long ass shift YIPPEE but also treat myself with a slice of vanilla cake when I get back home.
Also am I the only one who hates that fact that Facebook has to go out of it's own way just to remind all your fb friends its your birthday, err no thank you Facebook, but some people actually like to keep the fact they are getting old to themselves, thank you. And actually it would be nice knowing who actually remembers your birthday without fb notifying them in the first place. But there is a plus side,as my birthday really is the only day when I get a whole load of notifications in one day lool I know I live a very boring life lol
But don't get me wrong I am totally blessed to have another great year of being healthy, having a loving family and friends around me who are always their for me in time of need, well sometimes lol
Well that's my birthday thoughts for this year, and may this 19th year grace me with great and exciting things to come.
-A
Thursday 6 November 2014
One Big StressBall
Well this is a start, currently sitting on my bed 2:42am in the morning with my iphone light beside me on a pile of shoe boxes (yes I know I'm so inventive) you got to make do of what you got. I dunno its kind of weird me writing a post,my first post that is in the early hours of the morning when really I should be sleeping, as I have work 2moz. But this has literally been a current sleeping pattern of mine for the last 5 months, I would go to bed at like 5am in the morning and wake up at 3pm in the afternoon, Im proper living a rockstarr life just without the hotels,drugs, alcohol, and the naked women lol. The reason for my weird sleeping patten is, I'm a total party animal I go out everyday of the week with a bunch of cool indie friends who look at the world as one big party!!, looool if only my life was really like that, im only joking i am literally the total opposite of that, I hardly go out most of the time im at home either watching some really good trashy reality tv show or on my laptop watching youtube vids.
But anyway back to the fact I don't have a sustained sleeping pattern any more is, I just finished A levels last summer, (and having a long ass summer holiday doing F*** all hence the weird sleeping pattern) with AMAZING results, errrr yh I wish I came out with three C's to some people that is amazing results but for me i'm pretty disappointed with myself, I dunno this year I literally had a lack of motivation compared to last year in yr 12 by the end of the year I just couldn't wait to finish exams and leave my school forever and never look back, I just got sick of going to the same place for the past 7 years of my life (i literally get bored of things very quickly) and was ready to pack up all my books and distressed pencil case and leave. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change the past 7 years of my life at my secondary school for anything, I literally made of the greatest long-life friends that I wouldn't change for the world even when they can be annoying as F***. Sometimes you just need a new change of surroundings and I just felt that it was time to end that chapter of my life and get ready for uni well kind off, thats a whole another post I will dwell into later
Going back to the stress and the reason of my near death, A levels, I really wished I did better in my A levels I wanted to get at least one A and 2 B's (I took maths biology and chemistry and yr 12 i did drama) I did pretty well in yr 12 getting ABBC, then it just went downhill from there. I tell myself at the start of every academic year that I will focus much harder than I did in the previous year but I literally do exact opposite and see myself procrastinating more than usual, taking unnecessary long breaks,drinking endless amount of coffee and tea, even tried mixing the two together, the worst mistake of my life!!! waking up as early as 3am in the morning just to cramp in last minute revision but then falling back to asleep, face planted across my revision notes. Lets just say A levels is not a chapter of my life I want to revisit, but at the end of the day I am proud that I did not quit half way through like some people did (not to throw shade lol, can't believe I even used that term seems like everyone is using it nowadays) and I got into a great Uni that I initially did not apply to aswell as my course, but i will go into more detail in another post,
I'm gonna end it here for this post, but its nice having somewhere to put all your thoughts and feelings without people judging, well that's me for today
-A ( so pretty little liars esc)
But anyway back to the fact I don't have a sustained sleeping pattern any more is, I just finished A levels last summer, (and having a long ass summer holiday doing F*** all hence the weird sleeping pattern) with AMAZING results, errrr yh I wish I came out with three C's to some people that is amazing results but for me i'm pretty disappointed with myself, I dunno this year I literally had a lack of motivation compared to last year in yr 12 by the end of the year I just couldn't wait to finish exams and leave my school forever and never look back, I just got sick of going to the same place for the past 7 years of my life (i literally get bored of things very quickly) and was ready to pack up all my books and distressed pencil case and leave. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change the past 7 years of my life at my secondary school for anything, I literally made of the greatest long-life friends that I wouldn't change for the world even when they can be annoying as F***. Sometimes you just need a new change of surroundings and I just felt that it was time to end that chapter of my life and get ready for uni well kind off, thats a whole another post I will dwell into later
Going back to the stress and the reason of my near death, A levels, I really wished I did better in my A levels I wanted to get at least one A and 2 B's (I took maths biology and chemistry and yr 12 i did drama) I did pretty well in yr 12 getting ABBC, then it just went downhill from there. I tell myself at the start of every academic year that I will focus much harder than I did in the previous year but I literally do exact opposite and see myself procrastinating more than usual, taking unnecessary long breaks,drinking endless amount of coffee and tea, even tried mixing the two together, the worst mistake of my life!!! waking up as early as 3am in the morning just to cramp in last minute revision but then falling back to asleep, face planted across my revision notes. Lets just say A levels is not a chapter of my life I want to revisit, but at the end of the day I am proud that I did not quit half way through like some people did (not to throw shade lol, can't believe I even used that term seems like everyone is using it nowadays) and I got into a great Uni that I initially did not apply to aswell as my course, but i will go into more detail in another post,
I'm gonna end it here for this post, but its nice having somewhere to put all your thoughts and feelings without people judging, well that's me for today
-A ( so pretty little liars esc)
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