First Year is Donnnnnne

WOW its been a long time since I have written a blog post here, i've just been so busy with life, I've literally had no time to come on here and write a post. but now that I have finished with uni for this year and I pasted woop woop i'm on summer hoildays I might aswell catch you up on what happened during the last months of uni

Part 1
Second term started after Christmas and to be honest I do have to say this wasn't really my favourite term at all, it was a bit emotional I do have to say, particularly becuz of the same particular boy orange juice which I absolutely regret wasting my tears on, he was just not worth it at all, its kinda funny now remembering it all, and how upset I was about it all, on the way he was acting towards me. I just think yh he was being a dick towards me and everything but he really wasn't worth it like he is an actual hoe he's tried to get with nearly half the girls in my uni now, like im just confused, even girls that are not even his type he got with (the white girl for example). so i dunno if it was just for sex or whatever but he was just a major hoe after we had our thing. But thats uni boys for ya, which I quickly learned from, every boy in my uni are hoes, literally like my friend, A, she was doing a thing with orange juices friend and later we had found out he had a girlfriend the whole time, like he was in a proper relationship and everything. but he's relationship with he's girlfriend ended up being reallu messed up cos we found out he was just using her for money cos she was really rich, which is soo sad on the girl's part cos it seemed like she really liked him, she was in love with him, and the whole time he was just using her he's words where "i thought i covered my tracks it was just so easy" (thats when the girl found out he was doing a thing with my friend), she would always pay for their trips out together and she would buy him all these expensive presents, she even lied to her parents that she went on hoilday with him because they are really strict and especially because he was  black to and her parent wouldn't like that at all (she's from saudi arabia). she even lost her virginity to him and whats kinda peak is she ended up getting chlamydia from him, which means he must of been hooking up with another girl and not just my friend because she sure didn't give him chlamydia so he must of got it from another girl, seee these boys are just hoes!!!

There are some good guys in my uni but very few, to be honest i think uni is really not the place for a relationship it just not the right environment to have a relationship in, because there's always going to be another girl or whateever and boys can not be trusted in uni.
 
Its kinda weird cos Orange juice  wasn't really like that when I first met him he was kinda lowkey (unless he was just really good at hiding his hoeish activities) so I dunno what changed with him after first term,  he would wait for me and my friends after the club to chill and stuff, not in that way (well a bit in that way but none of  the sexing cos i aint a heo like that)  he was kinda emphasis on the "kinda" sweet to me in first term like he would call me and stuff and not even late at night at ridicuous hours, we would just like have a proper conversation and all, so he was cool back then, its funni cos i think most of the girls he has ended up getting with has sex with him straight away, im just soo glad i never had sex with him because i know i would have regretted it soooo much especially because it was my first time an all, and he just dosen't deserve my V card at all. Second term just seemed really bad for him cos he was just getting in loads of fights with people particularly with this one guy called tobenna (code name) over just petty things like football (they were on the same football team in uni) like i can't remember exactly what happened but at one the house parties all of us where at i think tobenna must have pushed him or somthin then fist where throwing everywhere and the party got locked off and everything, and the weird thing is not even orange juice friends where by his side to help him they literally just went off, looool we actually ended up going with them, back to their halls. He's own friends left him by himself.

Well technically he wasn't by himself, this is where chess board(code name) comes into the picture, this white girl (who im kinda friends with  not really close friends with ) just comes out of nowhere trying to help him out and everything like he knew him and at that point she didn't, she was literally by he's side the whole time after the fight, she was on him mannn.
later down the line (a couple of months later) they start hooking up due to "the femster" (code name) reintroducing them and apparently chess board had a huge crush on him (even though she said she had a crush on tobenna first), side note im actually getting sick and tired of girls gassing this boy up cos he aint shit man like peeps gotta come down man like he aint that fine tho, hes alright, i guess no supermodel he needs to sit down pleasssse. Anyway, so they start hooking up like she had sex with him multiple, she even gave him head in the disabled toilets in the LIBARY, like really, mind you everyone did say she was a hoe as well, like she has had sex with virtually the whole of ACS.
Sometimes i do find it a bit awks when she talks about him, like she even asked me if i had a thing with him obvs i denied everything and said we literally did nothing we are just friends nothing happened between us. cos to be honest im now kinda embrassed that I got with him cos he's turned into a massive hoe. i just don't think he is capable of having proper feeling at all like the day he gets a girlfriend im gone congratulate him thats a major milestone in he's life, (but apparently he has had one, im yet to believe that, he probs cheated on her) omg imagine if he gets married loooooooool when pigs fly.

So anyway apparently she initiated it all, and come on, no boy is gonna turn now sex especially him of all people, and the funni thing is he actied like he didn't know her at the jelly's (code name) house party like he was dancing and chatting to so many girls *yawnnnnnn* (this boy is not prestige at all he would literally get with a dog if it had a vagina.
but apparently she said that few days after the party he asked her to come over and obvs she said yes, and obvs it was only for one thing and we all know what that is.
I really wish I could read he's mind i just don't get him at all he's very confusing to me, like we are kinda cool now like we said hi and everythang at jelly party, but sometimes i feel like he still can't talk to be properly like he does with my friend, theres still just a bit of awkwardness there which i don't understand why, cos it wasn't really that deep like we didn't have a relationship we didn't even have sex so why is he still awks around me cos im cool like not gonna lie sometimes i do still get butterflies from time to time when somebody brings  his name up or i see him, it was so weird cos at work (im back at my old store now in london) i saw somebody who looked exactly like him and i got butterflies, forgoddness sake i need to stop this now!! cos im over wanting to get back with him cos he's ewwwww, so i just don't understand why my heartt still flutters sometimes.

Second year shall be very interesting lets see what next girl will give in to he's devilish ways.
Also side note whats still funni is he still tries to avoid watching my snaps which I don't get (note yes i deleted him before like back in march or something cos he was being a dick then i re-added him cos where kinda cool now and its not that deep, like i don't really care for him anymore im  99% sure i won't go back (still that 1%) but im defo sure i aint going there again.

Oh back to the whole situation when he got bottled, well we found out what really happened (he lied at first and said he got bottled cos of drugs, i wonder why he lied to my friend, i bet it was because he knew that she was going to tell me) well this is what really happened, he had hooked up with this black  girl called T-essex (code name) another gurl he hooked up with just sex, like she literally had sex with him straight away, she didn't even make him work for it, she literally just opened her legs. Anyway little did he know she had a boyfriend who was some next uncle or something he was major old, and he was some roadman, and he found out that she had sex with orange juice, so he made t-essex take him to orange juice's halls and so thats how he found out where he lived and he got bottled. and now he still has a massive scar on his face. I do feel really bad for him cos it looks like one of those scars that I doubt will ever go away he's literally going to have to live with it forever tbh it doesn't even look that bad,like it kinda suits him, but still to get bottled is not nice at all imagine the pain he was in thats not cool, its all her fault she shouldn't  have got with somebody else knowing that u have a boyfriend with anger issues and knowing what he is capable of , she put somebody else's life in danger it could have ended up sooo bad!!! she kinda honey trapped him in a way cos she led her boyfriend to beat up orange juice and not cool at all.

The horrible thing about it all she still goes on about it, all the time like how she got with orange juce and stuff she is obssessed with him. she tweets about him like all the time.
even though he has literally blocked her on everything snapchat, whatspp etc. Apparently she even tried contacting orange juice through her friends phone, like calling him out and stuff, she is psyco and needs to get over the boy. cos he don't like you mannnn leave the boy alone
I forgot to mentioned I ended up seeing him a couple weeks after the whole bottling situation and finding out about the white girl and he was sooooooo awkard he literally couldn't even look me in the eye like he was embrassed or something he was able to speak to my friend Carry (code name) but not me even when i said hi and stuff looooooool i find it soo funny now, cos still now hes a little bit awks like different from he's usual cocky loud self.

But anyway im done with boys in my uni even though  I only got with one that was enough for me, he had so much drama gosh, but yhhhhh no boys for me in second yr just friendship *thumbs up* they just come with too much baggage, and i cannot be bothered with that. i just want second year to be all about me cos its the last yr before I go out for placement yr so I want to go all out, and have much fun as possible. im not going to cry over no boy, if i do cry it will be about being stressed over uni work and stuff        

Part 2 coming next.........

A New Age A new me

So Im currently watching the clock and I only have 2mins left of being a teenager for the rest of my life, this is crazy where did the time go, Im going to be 20 in less than a mintute, Im currently at home back from uni for reading week however

unfinshed.

im officially done with boys

So following the aftermath of me finding that orange juice had got with another girl , I set out to start my revenge on this boy, but the weird thing the revenge happened all by itself without any of my assistance, I guess karma really does come around. And tbh wasn't really sure what my revenge would have been to this boy but I just knew he wasn't going to get away from he had to pay looool. But the thing that made it hard to start my revenge was that I don't really see him during the week,I only see him like at nightout and stuff, from time to time I would see him in the library but one likes to ignore me and pretend he don't know me when he's in the library but he's fine saying hi to everyone else (stupid boyy)

But things got a bit weird with him last week like he literally went MIA like my friend A goes to the library everyday (and he usually goes to the library quite often) and she didn't see him at all this week  and he didn't snapchat at all last week and that is just weird becuz this kid snapchats like everyday, let's just say he is like the batest person ever, so it noticeable if he just disappears. So I though me being me, becuz I'm a nice person,even though he keeps treating me like sh*t, I dropped him a text to see if everything was okay. You don't understand how nervous I was, I dunno why he makes me feel this way even when he being soo mean to me. And as usual he takes forever to reply, so he replied the next day saying that he's been in he hospital. 

So that explains why we hadn't seen him at all for the past week. So I ask if everything is okay now (more like I wants to ask why is he being so weird with me like what did I do to you) and he was like "yhh I am thanks" and I didn't reply to that cos I thought this is my chance to double tick this boy like he does to me. Then I late find out from my friend the reason why he was in the hospital that he act silly got attacked my someone, like someone bottle him, in my head I was like well karma is a bitch, but Naaa nobody deserves to be attacked for no reason, well I dunno cos me knowing him he may of instigated it, but still to get bottled is not nice, and he said he was being stalked aswell, I'm kinda confused by the whole story becuz he's as international student so I didn't think he knew many people in reading or had beef with someone in reading. I would have asked him myself, but once again like for reason he can't talk to me like a normal person like he ignores me all the time,like when I saw him in the library again the other day, I know he saw me, and he literally didn't even say hi anything after  me asking if everything was okay with him, but he was able to say hi to my friend when I left, like I just don't get why he a acts like this, he's the one that acted like a dick when he got with another girl yet he's making me feel like I did something wrong I just don't understand, and what even made things even more seller is I saw him at an acs event, and I just knew something was definitely up with him like he couldn't even look st me in the eye when I tried to say hi to him, like he was really awkward,at I first I thought it was becuz he didn't really wanna show me his scar  but my friend C, asked what happens to him and he was fine to show the scar , so I don't get what it was like he wasn't being himself, I tried talking to him again at the actually event, but that was even more awks, like I was asking him stuff and he wasn't reall asnwering my questions like even just asking him if everything was okay, he would just answer around he question more try to pay it off like he said "don't I look okay" mate I'm asking you s simple question why do you have to be rude about it 

I was right all along

Well haven't I got news for you, this week end was way too much man and really brought things to light, so let me just explain everything and why fuckboys need to move away from my life!

So on Saturday I had gone to union with my friend ms to get turnt up so as we usually do we where suffocating in the massive queue to get into the club with people pushing each other  for unnessarsary reasons so I had found a little gap between the pioles which try to try to make the queuing process much easier (which it doesn't) so we had decided to go through it to get further to the front. So at this point we were getting closer to getting into the club, then this random white girl started making conversation with us which was nice like to make conversation  and all to pass the time but long behold everything about orange juice I had thought had come to light and this is how it happened, so we where just talking about like what course we did and how stressful the workload is land stuff like that, then she had asked us what halls we live in, so we had told her and she told us where she lived. Now she happened to live in the same halls as orange juice so we where like Ohhh really we know that place very well,( now his halls is very big so the chances of this girls irk living in the same block as him is small, well that what I thought!!!)

So she had said ohh why what happened is it s boy, then I was like Yhhh and she asked oh who is it, and I just told her cos I thought what are the chances of her knowing him like I doubt they hav crossed paths hmmmm we'll I was wrong. She literally was in shock like she was like omg I knowww him like I've hooked up with him like the other day and bye this boy hasn't even spoken to me in like 2 weeks yet he's able to text this white girl and not mee, I'm not even gonna lie I was kinda pissed but funni and the same time so we where just laughing our heads off like we were like wtf!!! She hand told us she literally spoke to him the day before and that he had stayed round her place until 5 in the morning and while she's saying all this im just in shock but this boy really thought he could play me, mattttteeeee you cannot play me my friend, he literally thought he would get away with this like I know I wasn't even going out with him but

unfinshed.

I can't deal with boys

Right it's like 3:30 in he morning and I feel like I just need to vent my emotions somewhere becuz I just so angry and hurt right now and it's about the same guy going my the code name orange juice. So I just came back from the library where he was with his group of friends who is is usually with and he just completely blank me and my friends as if he didn't know us like I just don't get why he is always frontinn all the time like they told me that he has said hi to them st other times when I'm not there and and just don't get it like I feel the reason he didn't come over to say anything was becuz I was their like and if I wasn't there he would have come over, cos he did the other time when my friend A was by herself.

I just sooo confused by this guy like he has two different personalities he is one person with he's friends then other person when he is with me (the nice and chill guy that I like) I don't like the person he is when he is with his friends cos he just wants to act so stubborn and pre tend that I don't exist and I just really upset by it all becuz, the thing is I thought he could be like a really good close friend I could have,and be able to talk to him whenever I wanted but today just made me see his true colours like he is just not a nice person, and the funny thing is his friend is doing the same exact thing to my friend A, like why are they playing games, like it not funni it's just kinda mean and makes me think he is not the person I thought he was. Like I wanna go back to the times when we use to chat all the time and he would call me, like I dunno what has changed, and it's weird becuz we where just hanging out with them the other weekend and it was so much fun, like I hooked up (no sex of course) with orange juice and it was really nice like I dunno I thought we were on the right track after all that nonsense he was doing before around Christmas, but now he has fallen back to his old ways and being so childish. Like it not like I'm even like being clingy or anything like it's always him making the moves on me, it's always him making the first move I have never once tried to initiate it, and I no he is attracted to me, cos he admitted that he had a crush on me (after he said he didn't when we were playing truth or days) I knew he was lyin when he said he didn't have a crush on anybody in uni, becuz one he hesitates do when he said it and also how can you hook up with someone that many times and always be harassing me on the phone and not have any feels towards that person, so when I ask him to why he never said he like me, when we where alone, he admitted that he did.  (baring in mind that this was I front of everyone when he said he didn't have a crush, so I knew he was going to say no cos he always has a front)

This is what I don't understand like you say you like me then why you trying to hide it when ur with people like as if he's a ashamed or sumthing m, which is not cool, like I dunno what he is tryna hide cos his close friend (the one doing the same nonsense to A) knows we've been hooking up so I don't get why he's tryna hide his feeling. He's just so confusing to read sooo I'm just done with it all like I exhausted by his games and wished he just acted like a normal human being ,  I really wanna tell him how I'm feeling right now but he probs just laugh at me and think I'm stupid cos that's the sort of person he is, I'm just annoyed aswell becuz in the beginning of all this I didn't even find him attractive like he's good looking but I didn't see him in that way then I started to get to know him and then we kissed and that just when I started getting feelings and I'm just annoyed at him for making get feelings for him and just mess me about, there is a little bit of me that wants him to message me or sumthin so I can tell him how I feel, but I don't think that's gonna happen. Soooo at this present time I think Im done with him, like I'm not over him that will take some time. But I'm done with trying to have some type of friendship or whatever that was going on cos he just too stubborn and I don't have time for it anymore, I'm deleting him for my life and never talking to him again (maybe just for the time being) until he decides he wants to be nice to me again

Other point to add is he is singling me out like he would watch my friends snapchats  but he won't watch mine, which is basically the same things that he's doing when he says hi to my  friends when I'm not there. I just don't understand this game he is playing, it's not fun like he needs to stop cos it's not funny anymore at first it was fun cos we would've not talk for some time (like we would both play hard to get) but when we see each other you could just feel the connection between us and it would be just amazing when we kiss and stuff but now it's just not fun anymore like I just wanna be his friend and he's just being so weird towards me, like I kinda wanted the relationship chuck and Blair had in gossip girl how they would both try and make each other jealous but still have that crazy connection between the two I thought we where leading to that kind of relationship but he's kinda taking it too far to the extent that he won't even acknowledge me when he is with his friends and not in a party kind of environment, I just don't get his motive.

I think I'm done venting, I'm going to go back to my work now. 

So today (the next day that is) one has decide code to have an emotional break down today, about this sill nonsense boy it crazy I never though I'd be the type of person to cry over a boy m, I'm usually the one telling my friends like there's no point wasting your tears on boys, and there's be doing it, I just felt like I just needed to just cry it out sooo that now I can move on. Actually the main reason why I started crying was becuz my friend A had decided to send me a song by Rihanna- fading , which literally spoke to me, like he lyrics of the song was literally how I am feeling, like he's fading from my life and I'm kind of upset about it cos we had some good times (I secretly hope that he comes back and stop being stubborn) 

The song is just sooo emotional like I'm suprised I haven't even heard it before, that's is one of my favourite songs from Rihanna now, and I only just heard it today the song came out ages ago like a couple of years ago. But Yhhh it was hat song that just did it for me I just started crying becuz it reminded me of him. 

I defo need that emotional sesh so that now I can be a boss ass bitch and make him jealous and be fleeky so that he will regret being rude to me!! 

New year

So i currently have only a week left until i go back to uni and to be honest i literally cannot wait, like i literally loving uni at the moment its soo much fun, well apart from the tonne of work I have to do for my course, but other than that ts amazing.
So yh can't wait togo back to uni to get turnt up once again for another term, also this will give me a chance to see what the f*ck  is going on between me and orange juice, like im soo confused to what is going like we still haven't spoken, he's just being soo annoying thats why when  see him at the club i need to make sure im looking fleeky as f*ck to nake him wish he never ignored me, im literally gonna give him a taste of his own medicine, think he can hook up with my other ignoreing me for like 2 week, naaaa that ain't happening, he has to work for it, not gonna give in to easily.
But I hope he still wants to talk to me tho like if I see him he better not ignore me!!

Anyway its now a new year, woah this yar literally went so fast, the year defo ended with a bang! starting uni, meeting new people, finally knowing what I want to do with my life, things seem to be looking up finally, hope i'm not jinxing anything lool.
But yh i celebrated New years eve with my friend from uni A and her friend and it literlly was one of the best night ever like i was literally planning to just stay at home and not really do anything, put we spontaneously when to central london and had dinner and roamed the streets of london, it was literally like carnival all over again, there where so many thirsty guys tho couple of them where really nice, like im talking to one of the guys I met yesterday and he just seems really cool, like nothing sexual or anything just like a genuine conversation and stuff, its nice. So yh London is pretty live on New years eve, you literally don't even have to go and spend ridiculous amounts of money to go clubbing the streest are where the party is at to be honest defo gonna do something like that again next year. But anyway after we spent time in central we ending up going to north london to meet one of A guy friends. and lets just say this is is rich asf like he was even willing to buy us our club ticket which would have been about £50, this guy just spends money like its nothing. His apartment was just soo nice shame he could have cleaned it up a little. guessing this guy thinks he same bachelor or something. so once we had arrived at hes apartment we where just chilling playing good music,drinking, having a laugh it was acually pretty fun, kinda awks at the start but it got better.
Then i randomly hooked up with one of the guys which was intresting lool thats was the second guy i have ever kissed after orange juice, i do have to say he was actually pretty good uknow, he even had braces nd he wasn't even that bad but a little bit of me wished it was orange juice i was actually getting with, i mean i guess it confirmed that i do actually like orange juice but i still want it jst to be a casual thing like n string attachd kind of thing cos i wanna be sexually free looool, gosh that makes me sound like a hoe. Im still gonna keep my V card until I meet the right person and im in a relationship with them. Can't be giving my V card to any fuckboy lol

But damn this guy was soo horny mann he just wanted to keep going and im their like aren't you tired yet loool, cos i was (obv i didn't tell him that).
so yh after all that went down (literally lool) i ended up getting hope at like 1pm the next day, i was literally soo tired like i was even sleeping on the train, i just wanted to go to my bed and sleep.
But yh that was one of the best night ever had soo much fun

Anyway i was thinkin about a new year resolution and i was thinking that i really need to give people a chance expecially when it comes to meeting boys and stuff like that loool, cos i tend to just shut them down there and then, or like i could have a mad crush on somebody but yet not do anything about it cos im too shy or scared ill be shut down then by the time i do have the courage to do something, they end up being in a relationship with somebody else, which is annoying. so yh defo need to giv people a chance
and just anothr general one make sure i have a great first year in uni and start being more orgainsed and manage my tie better with my studies and stop procrastinating all the time      

First term

So that's first term of uni done and dusted it's crazy how fast it went, it just felt like the other day I was just moving in, uni has actually been soo amazing like I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I have, so I'm just going to start at the beginning.

I moved into Uni on September 18 feeling soo nervous and anxious to everything, like if I was going to make any friends,if I was going to homesick, who my flatmates where going to be, and stuff like that. So we ended up taking a cab, becuz mum was definitely not driving all the way there. Me being me I had to forget something, and it happened to be the most important thing, Alevel chemistry folder so we had to drive all the way back to get it, lucky we had only been driving for 15mins, so it was cool but we had to pay £10 extra which was annoying.

So once we had got their I had to go and hand in the usual documentation like registration stuff and rubbish like that, I had also collected my keys for my room, the next hour was the longest trek of my life because I had realised that I live on the top floor, and my halls doesn't have a lift to I had to carry 5 bags of luggage all he way to the top floor, well it was only 3 flights of stairs but climbing all those stairs on a relatively mild day was not nice!! But luckily I had my mum to help me. So whilst bringing my luggage up I was able to check out my room and I was actually surprised how nice it was, I thought it would be kinda dodge cos I have always had this perception of uni halls being really disgusting but it was actually really nice, with quite a lot of storage, I did wish my shower was a bit better, but really I shouldn't be complaining becuz I know some people have to share showers with 6+ and I would not be able to deal!!! My OCD is too much for that rubbish! Anyway I had actually met my first housemate by this time and it was actually someone I already knew from back home, she had gone to one of the schools where I had done my As drama. So it was cool having someone i kneww kind of made me a little more relaxed. She's actually going to drop me back home 2moz which is cool, say me money on a cab. 

So once I had eventually got all my stuff to my room we took 30mins to relax and compose ourself, becuz I was out of breath after all that. Then I was told that I had to go to a fire and safety talk thing on campus which meant that my mum had to go, so I went to see her off and made sure she got on the right bus and that was it, I was left on my own to fend for myself, okay, maybe not that deep but yh it was just me now not replying on anyone which I do have to admit kinda made me miss home already lool, I had only been in uni for like a mere 2 hours or so and I was already homesick. I think it was becuz it was just way too quiet in my flat I felt kind of lonely becuz I wasn't really use to being by myself for this amount of time with people I don't really know. 

So moving on to the evening was the icebreaker session which gave us time to get to know our flatmates and other people at my halls, we actually didn't have a full flats yet becuz one of them had moved in earlier in the day and went back home, she literally always goes home at least every two weeks like I don't get the point of it, as uni is the time to be independent and be your own person well some people are different so I can't really judge. Anyway back to the first night it was actually really good like I was able to get to know my flatmates which are really cool, well apart from one who I don't really chat much wit at the moment now she's just really awkward and it's hard to have a proper conversation wit her, it's just like a hi and bye situation, I mean I try my best to talk to her in just not getting anything back. And it's weird becuz the first two week of freshers we were cool like we would both go out together clubbing but now we don't speak and I don't go out clubbing wit her. actually I  don't go out with any of my flatmates their not really the partying type. But I'm not going to stress over her she not the type of person I'll associate my time with she brings everybody mods down. But my other housemate are cool one of them is actually on my course, I also don't really speak much with her but she's nice aswell. My flat is weird like where not the type of flat to have like dinner together and stuff like that we really just keep to ourselves but at the same time I can have like a proper conversation with them well at least 3 of then, oh yh and I forgot one of them is an international student she's actually leaving now, she's finished with her degree so won't be coming back after Christmas, so we probs are going to get a new flatmate I personally hope it's an international student because they usally keep to themselves lol. 

So welcome week just consisted of getting to know who our lectures are and introduction to the course blah blah, nothing really interesting, whilst welcome week was going on we also had freshers for 2 weeks which entailed a whole lot I partying however I do have to admit freshers is realllyyyyy overrated like every night is basically the same just clubbing and to be honest the clubs around my uni are not really good like most of them play constant house music which is sooo annoying, I mean thy have a second room where they the Rnb but the I mean they don't even play that much rnb in it and if they do they will keep playing the same mix of music for every night which is soo annoying! But I did have a couple of good nights and also ended up meeting two of my good friends now at uni, one is on my course and the other lives in the same halls I do. So they are my girls we literally go out everywhere together and are probably going to meet up during he hoilday to PARTTTYYT!!! 

The second week of freshers was when I met my first kind of guy interest well not really, cos it was him who said he liked me and I found this out from his friend. He actually doesn't go to the uni he was just visiting his friend, so he never told me face to face that he liked me, and to be honest I didn't really take notice of him but I was soo flattered when I found out he like me so maybe that's why I kinda liked him in a way at first, becuz he was interested in me, I kinda liked the attention he was giving me. So I told his friend to tell him to add me on fb, and soo he did, so I as you do, I stalked his profile and I already had an inkling that he wasn't really my type but I was still blinded by the fact that someone liked me when to be honest I didn't really fancy him at all, like he was not really my type and this confirmed it when he came bak to visit his friend again on Halloween and I saw him at union and I just knew there was absolutely nothing there, like I felt  no attraction to him what so ever and also  he was such an awkward dancer and I literally can not deal, like one of the things i like in a guy is that they have to be able to dance, if you can't dance then it's a no no mate! Sooo yhhh, I tried to avoid him the whole night but he was literally stuck to my hip which was soo annoying like didn't he get the point, but luckily he doesn't Go to the same uni, like imagine, I would have to avoid him all the time which is just effort, but I do hope he finds  a girl that that he will be into so that him done and dusted. 

So by this time lectures where rolling and the work was piling, I just knew I was falling behind, it was just soo hard becuz the second week of freshers was also going on too, it was hard going through my lecture notes aswell as partying, so I really have to find a balance between going out and doing work, I mean I'm been doing well in my tutorials but I just need to make sure I fit in going through lecture notes and stuff like that. Then it came to my birthday,turning the big 20 which is still so weird to me, like you feel like you'll be a teenager for the rest of your life, it's just at too weird that I have finished my teenage years :( but I'm ready for the 20s cos these are the years when you have to get sh*t going with your life and make things happen and that what I'm gone do. Anyway for my birthday it was actually really good I went out to dinner and ended the night going to union which was really good, good people and good food and fun that's all you need! 

Then we arrived to November 29 when I had my first kiss, so this is what happend so my friends and I decided to go union it it happened to be a night when everyone was going like literally there was only 8 tickets left in the box office, so we knew we were going to have a good night, so obv we run to the rnb room becuz it's the best room ever, do whilst getting our partying on these two guys came (loool I'm actually cringeing typing all of this) up to A (code name for my friend) becuz she already knew one of them becuz it was her exes flatmate their code names are Bryson and orange juice ( weird code names,but there's a reason behind them). so once they introduced themselves to us, I'm mean I never really took notice of them I'm mean If I had to pick orange juice was the better looking one, so then they started dance with A and C leaving just me bymyself which was kinda awks, that's the thing when ur in a three friendship group someone is always left out lool, but it was cool,I let them do what they gotta do u know, I can had hold my own, so I let them off dancing wit their guys and I ended up going off dancing with the second/third years. Soo literally that was them just dancing with them for most of the night and me just dancing with my lonely self loool, then C went off with orange juice for like 10-15mins and this was when union was literally coming to an end so we had to wait for her until she was finished talking to him cos we didn't want to disturb her, u know she could be doing the business, well we asked her after what happened and she said nothing happened they where just talking and he got her number. So union had come to an end and C that was with orange juice had to go back to her halls to take another girl home which left me A and another friend we had invited called D and these two guys Bryson and orange juice. We thought let's go and get something to eat becuz we where hungry , so we went to one of the kebab shops which was near my halls, long behold we weren't the only ones who where hungry after union, their was a massive queue which was kinda unusual becuz it's not as packed as it was like that night. So orange juice said that we should go back to his halls cos he had some jollof rice and fried rice that his mum cooked for him , cause he clearly cannot cook for himself!! 😂

So off we went all the way back to campus to his halls, and it was one of the really really posh halls that are like £6,000 to live in, like his kitchen was massive but his room wasn't really that much different to mine, the only big difference really was that he had a double bed. So he gave us the rice he promised us, and we were literally just talking for the whole night about everything. So at first I kinda was attracted to Bryson cos he seemed really shy and didn't talk as much as orange juice who could flipping talk for the whole of england well Nigeria in his case  becuz that's where he is from and lives (their both international students, Bryson is in third year and orange juice is in first year) then the guys wanted to get alcohol and this was like 7.00 in the morning loool,so we ended up goin to the corner shop D decided to go back home leaving just me and A with the two guys, we got the alcohol and went back to his halls again. Now I could see there's was a bit of attraction already between Bryson and A so that left me with orange juice, now the thing is I thought orange juice kinda like D  ( the one who left to I back to her halls while we got alcohol) becuz it seemed like he was flirting with her quite a lot, or I thought he was also interested in C becuz that was who he was dancing with at union so my intentions was to just play wing woman for A and just sweet talk orange juice while she hooks up with Bryson (btw at this point we had vacated to orange juice's room) soooo why A was  hooking up with Bryson I dunno me and orange juice where kinda flirting but not really then he ended KISSING ME 😱 and that caught me off gaurd becuz I was not expecting it, see I didn't read too much into it becuz I thought he was only kissing me becuz he felt left out, like his friend was my my friend so he probs thought mmmm let me just get with this girl (me being this girl). So let me just say the first wasn't what I had expected like you get these high expect ions that ur first kiss is gonna like amazing like the ones you see in movies and stuff but it was actually not that good so their we where both me and A just hooking up with these two guys looool. And btw I had pretend that I was sick and called sick or work becuz to be honest I didn't really wanna leave early to go to work becuz I was actually having quite a bit of fun so I didn't want to be a partypooper and go home, so I said to work that I had an ear infection lool. Anywayy so it reached about 9:00 in the morning so yess I was up for pretty much 24hours that day becuz I actually had work that day. So A and Bryson ended up leaving me and got a cab while I was still talking to orange juice, he wanted be to stay over a bit longer however I knew what that would entail and I was not stupid I'm not giving up my v card for anyone until I meet the right person, so then we kissed again and it was actually really good, like reaalllly goood looool so maybe becuz it was my first time that's why it was kinda rubbish but this one it was gooooood!!! So he ended getting my number and assumed he probs won't text me ( yes I'm not really optimistic when it comes to guys, I always assume the worse) and then I go off back home to sleep!

So a couple of days later it was the Acs Christmas party which was actually really good, it was a shame thou that the house was kinda small but oh well, and who happened to be there Bryson and orange juice and I do have to admit orange juice was actually looking really good and at this time that's when u reaIized that actually I might have crush on him becuz I was actually getting a bit jelly that he was getting chatty with one of the girls in the party. So I just knew I have developed feeling for this guy!!

And he ended up saying hi to me and C with his cute self and we were talking for about 10-15mins, this made me even more interested In him and it really doesn't help how flipping cute he is, which is annoying becuz I really don't want to have feelings for him becuz he just seems like a player. So the Christmas party had ended and that's when I had to tell A that yes I do have a crush on orange juice, I dunno I think becuz even thou he's really loud he's really funni and I'm attracted to people that can make jokes

So about 2 days later as I was just minding my own business u know just doing a bit  of work, my phone starts pinging and who is it, it's orange juice and I was actually really suprised becuz one I found it soo strange that once I had announced  I liked orange juice to A and talking to him made me start to like him even more, then one day he asked me to come over, now this was at like 2 in the morning so I'm not stupid like asking someone to come over at 2 means he clearly wants something which I was obvs not gonna give it to him, but then he became like really persistent and I kept telling him like naaa I can't be bothered I'm got a lot if work to do (which I actually did, becuz I was doing my lab report thing) but then it ended with me actually going round his lool. So there We were just us to nobody else to come save me from this situation. The thing is I'm soo awkward with these situation with boys like I'm just really shy soo I dunno I was just a bit nervous that the fact it was just is two unlike the other time when at least I had A their. So anyway we were just talking and stuff and watching a couple of shows, so typical one of the shows being on flipping Netflix (soooo cringe) and then obv is currently being on Netflix he decided to kiss me (omg it's soo cringe typing this up) then u know we were doing stuff I never had sex with him know, even thou he wanted to but I really didn't want to, as obvs my v card is still fully activated and too be honest I don't want my first time to be with him I dunno I just don't think his the right person and I want my first time to be with someone that I'm actually Uba relationship with and now thinking back to the situation and how he is acting towards me now I'm soooooooo glad and didn't have sex with him, like soo happy becuz realising now that I don't really have much of a crush on him as I use to like I can't really see myself with him he's more like friends material who just occasiully hook up (but obvs without the sex) soo yhh that was that, I didn't sleep over. So the next time I saw him but I didn't really speak to him at the actul event like we didn't really see much of each other, even though he kept asking me where I was, but the lethal bizzle event was a mad night like literally everyone was going crazy and I mean lethal he's not like a major artist or anything like me had a couple million followers but to be honest in not really into his music I just went for the bants and it was the last event of the term, one thing that really got on my nerves is that the usual rnb room we go to decided to switch it up for the night and also play house music and we were like wtf is this naaa that unfair we can't have two rooms playing the same type of music, it doesn't make sense. So when lethal arrived this is when everything got a bit too much everyone was pushing people where falling on the floor, people lost shoes and socks it was just too crowded, I literally could not breathe, like I couldn't take it anymore, all this just for lethal bizzle like come on, if it was someone like chris brown then yhhh I will get the point I would be acting crazy but for lethal naaa that's not worth it, so we decided (we being just me and A becuz we had lost C in the crowd loool) to just leave the main floor area and go ontop of the balcony which was a much better idea becuz it was less packed and not so claustrophobic and we could see everything a lot more better. So after lethal finished his set the music in the main room actually got a lot more better like their started playing garage music and a little of rnb am which was good, and I this time orange juice was in the same room as I just still we weren't talking, I feel like out relationship is kinda like chuck and Blair's relationship in gossip girl here they try and make each other jealous by flirting with other people but by the end of the day they end up hooking up, and to be honest I actually kind of like that type of relationship it makes it fun. cos to be honest I'm not into have a boyfriend in uni I just wanna have fun!! I don't wanna be tied down to just one person. Buy anyway I ended up talking to one guy, I wasn't really interested in him I just wanted to make orange juice jealous looool and I could see that he was watching me, which was the whole point!! so my plan worked the guy need up taking my number and invite us to his house party he was having after the event but we knew we weren't gonna go becuz we had already planned to go back to orange juices place after the event. Soo then I could see he was talking to some next girl and she was wearing his jacket the same jacket he gave moi, but I guess he was doing exactly what I was doing trynna make me jealous which I mean, I guess It kinda worked becuz a little bit of me was kinda annoyed. So that same girl also ended up coming back to his place aswell with her friend and at first I thought he would be awkward with her there aswell as us being their becuz I thought he wanted to hook up with her but I don't think like was the case, I think their where already friends before he knew me, so I was cool with that, but to be honest I don't think I would have been annoyed if he did hook up with her becuz he's not my boyfriend and I don't want him to be, and I want to be free to talk to other guys aswell, but I an kinda scared that he may actually find someone he really likes and then we can't really be the whole friend with benefits situation I dunno, I just don't wanna loose his friendship. But soo yh we hanged out round his for some time which was fun, then we decided to go coz C had to go home the next day, and actually everybody decided to go at that time, so their we where making our way home, we got dropped off from our other friend who was also heir at the event which was cool so as she was dropping other peeps off, orange starting calling me like mutilple times loool asking me to come back, this is what confused like I said bye to him and everything and it didn't seen at that time he wanted me to stay co she didn't say anything, then he flipping decided to call me like hundred time telling me to come over, like why find' you just say it in the first place!! I dunno maybe he's also shy in showing his feelings infront of people. Soo anyway I told him like naa I not coming all the way back to yours like that's long, and he just asking and asking why, and I was like naa, then one of the guys who was getting dropped off actually had orange juice's campus card which was soo annoying becuz this meant we had to actually go back to his halls to give it bak to him, so I ended up going back to his halls to drop it off and then he like randomly kissed me again and was like come on just stay over and I was like nooo ( I had also started my period that day so I defo couldn't stay over) so I told him I'll come over the next day, in my head I wasn't actually going to go the next day but he didn't have to know that. So he was like okay, then I left. And that was it really as I planned I didn't end up going to his the next day cos I also had to pack coz I was gonna go home the next morning.

 so now I'm at home, it feels soo good to he home, you really take the simple things for granted, like ur mums cooking and stuff, I really need to catch up with my work, I just get distracted sooo easily but I'm gonna make a move on it now . 

 Okay right at the present moment I'm not  speaking to orange juice he is actually getting on my last nerve, I literally cannot be bothered with him anymore like the last time we properly talked was on Sunday (so I had only been home for like 1 day now) and that was when he was like right I'm not talking to you anymore m, which I was confused about becuz I didn't even do anything, he was like why aren't you replying to my text then I was like your such a hypocrite becuz he takes like forever to reply then he started like acting weird and was like bye I'm not talking to you anymore and cut the phone, see I thought he was joking but he was actually being serious and I was there like wtf did he really hang up on me, that was kinda rude,so I texted him saying well I'm not talking either. Now I thought he was just acting up and playing with me, but he was actually being serious becuz we literally haven't spoken in a week. So today I decided let me just text this bit right and be like "I thought you would have given up by now" then he replied like he had no Idea what I was talking about and I just here like what the actual f*ck, like u didn't talk to me becuz u said u weren't and now ur acting like you don't know what happened, so u know what I'm like done with him now, cos he's getting on my nerves acting really stupid he making me feel like I made the situation up or somethin, I just feel really stupid now. This is the thing I just feel like I was made a fool or somethin I dunno I Probs overreacting or somethin, but the fact you like ingnore then pretend like nothing happened is kind of annoying and I just can't be bothered with his nonsense anymore. Like I feel so stupid trying to make an effort and bein the one to say somethin cos after he ingnored me for like a week, but now I literally cannot be bothered and if he tried saying anything then I'm just gonna ingore it cos his really irritating me, it's a shame tho cos I actually wanted to be friends with him, but him acting like this is like is he even worth my time though. So if he trys anything with me I'm just gonna ingnore him and just speak to him when I see him but obvs like friends and nothing more cos he is just not worth if anymore, he can and harass another girl cos in done 

So that was the first term done and dusted, a lot has actually gone on, so bring on next term!!!!